Bryce Canyon, Utah - Click to Enlarge

The Collie Who Tried to End It All

Back in the Bad Old Days, when I was a practicing Real Estate Broker, I used to drive around the country every day showing land to customers.   I’ll not trouble you with the disadvantages of that system, but one of the interesting windfalls was that I got to meet a LOT of pretty unusual characters.

One I remember in particular was a lady, probably in her early forties, who told me that, prior to her trip to my office, she’d never been outside Los Angeles.

Honest, I’m not making this up.

Another thing that I remember about her was that she called home three times a day to check with the woman who was sitting her dogs.  Not that there’s anything WRONG with that, mind you.  I just sticks in my mind because I never saw anyone check on their kids that much.

Well, I drove her all over creation, or at least the Ozark version of creation, for two or three days. During the middle of one afternoon, we were passing down one of the zillion or so back-county gravel roads hereabouts, past a small farmhouse, when a large collie came running out of the yard barking at us.

I was just about to deliver the punch line of one of my remarkably humorous stories, when I turned to my passenger, not wishing to miss her appreciation of my profound wit.

Her face was frozen in terror. Her eyes were as big as saucers and she was making a strange "ACK-ACK-ACK!!" noise deep in her throat.

This was *not* the sort of reaction I’d hoped for.

As quickly as I could, I pulled the truck to a halt, preparing to administer artificial respiration, the Heimlich maneuver, or whatever seemed appropriate.

By that time, she was sobbing uncontrollably.

After several moments, I managed to calm her down enough that she could, sort of, talk.

As it turns out, she thought the collie was going to run head-first into our vehicle and end it all.

I explained to her that rural dogs just aren’t under that much stress, and that they were probably far less prone to fits of depression, performance anxiety, that sort of thing than their urban counterparts.

Apparently, dogs do not chase cars in Los Angeles. Maybe it’s a city ordinance or something.

I always remember that dear woman because she so clearly demonstrated that our perceptions are entirely dependant on our experiences.

 

 

 

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